Mein Kampf : CAT 2008

First I would like to seek apologies from Adolf Hitler for stealing the title 'Mein Kampf' from his famous book. But I could find no apt words to describe my feelings. Please do not refer the dictionary if you are not aware of what the words 'Mein Kampf' mean because they are in German. It means 'My Struggle'. Let me just take you through the phases of my entire CATastrophic cycle.

The Beginning: Life was all very relaxed. It had been more than two years since I had started working. The weekdays were very busy with work and on weekends I had nothing to do expect lazing around at home (disadvantages of not having a GF or should I say advantages :) ) This had made me complacent and at the same time very edgy (Side effects of working in IT industry I guess...) So I craved for some change in my routine and finally decided to appear for the CAT 2008.

The Journey: I was very determined about cracking the CAT and so joined a training institute as early as I could. (the rational behind this being I would have more time to prepare... hmm sounds quite logical) So there began a series of lectures and tests. Initially it was fun and I was really enjoying it as all this reminded me of my college days.

The Struggle: Very soon the actual truth dawned upon me. The work pressure at office left me with no time to study and the long weekend class sessions sucked up all my vigor. I realized that my life had become very mechanical and I was busy for weeks without any break. The exam was still too far and I had almost used up all my energies. And then began the struggle of dragging yourself to your limit. I had started losing my interest and quite a few times I thought if it was really worth the pain. The test scores failed to show any improvement and my motivation took a beating.

The Last Straw: Then came the day of the great financial crises and gripped the world in claws of fear. The Lehmans and Bear Sterns of the world were left bankrupt overnight by the sub-prime crises. As the markets collapsed world wide the most coveted MBA suddenly lost its sheen. This proved to be the so called "Last Straw" and I finally gave up on the CAT. Life changed suddenly. The lazy weekends were back again and the exam was now just a formality :)

The obvious question in your mind would be why am I hell bent on narrating my disastrous CAT tail? (Oops!! "tale"...) But then every dark could has a silver lining, so if you dare (or care.... whatever) to see, there is an altruistic motto "what not to do to crack the CAT".

The Spirit of Mumbai... A well planned Hoax!!!!!!

The last few days have been very frantic and terrifying with the terrorists knocking right on our doors (okkk cities...), the commandos trying their best to keep them at bay, the news channels coming up with a new "breaking news" every second, politicians doing nothing as usual, and people having lost their beloved ones and all their hopes as well. The news papers and the news channels have been screaming on the top of their voices about the "Spirit of Mumbai", the talk about the resilience shown by the city, its ability to return to normalcy in a few days and the brazen people who get back to work the next day. All these qualities are applauded and appreciated for. Even the people seem to show nonchalance towards these disastrous acts of cowardice.

It just made me think if its really what it is portrayed as or if there is something else which is very grave and needs immediate attention or is it something that is just an excuse for our inability and reluctance to act. As I thought about this, an incident from "The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand, came to my mind. The incident describes how a shrewd and mean man called Toohey uses the power of media to mould a public opinion. And then uses this force of the masses to his advantage. Sometimes I sniff a similar kind of conspiracy all around. A big plot by the media and the politicians in which the common man, always suffers. Let me unfold it for you.

There is a terrorist attack somewhere (I don't want to ponder over the motives behind it right now) and many people are killed. As the logic goes, this is collective failure of the politicians (they are least bothered), the intelligence agencies (they fail to intercept), the security forces (as the explosives are brought from outside the country) and the police (they fail to track the terrorist activities). Now no one of these wants to take the responsibility so they keep blabbing about the "foreign hand". In the mean time the helpless people with fear in their hearts (you can make that out from their faces while traveling in the local train after a bomb blast) and all their hopes on god (because they have already lost faith in others), set out with a brave face in the search of their daily bread.

The media salutes their heroism and the country admires their courage but what everyone fails to see is their vulnerability and despair behind this so called "Spirit of Mumbai".


This reminds me of this poem by Ravindranath Tagore:

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high;
Where knowledge is free;
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls;
Where words come out from the depth of truth;
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit;
Where the mind is led forward by thee into ever-widening thought and action--
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

The Fist Step

I read somewhere, “Every great journey is made up of a several thousand small steps”. So simple yet so true, so evident yet so profound. On giving some more thought over it I realised that the most important of them all is the “First Step”. It is the deciding factor between your thoughts and the reality, the thin line between the “there” and the “not there”.

In our everyday life we come across several situations that spark a thousand ideas. Some good, some not so good and some simply brilliant. We decide to do something about those ideas but usually end up doing nothing and the idea remains what it is “just an idea”. This has also happened to me several times and now when I look back I don’t remember any of those ideas. This made me think as what is it exactly that holds us back and makes us hesitant to take that so called “First Step”. The probable reasons that I could think of were
· Lack of confidence: To counter this we really need to believe in our idea only then can we do proper justice to it.
· Lack of time: This is the most common reason we usually come across but on a closer look I see it just as an excuse. (I know you will agree with me on this :)) Time can never really be a constraint if you have the will to do it.
· Lack of that Trigger: This is some particular event that makes you do things “right here, right now”. (But don’t wait for it forever :))

Enough of the “Gyan” now, being an immature writer and this being my first adventure excuse me if I have deviated from the path. Also please excuse me if I am being very much philosophical (This is an inborn talent, can’t really help it :)). So yesterday I decided to write a blog and before the idea faded away in my memories I decided to immortalise it on the information highway. I thank Jimmy for being my “Trigger” behind this. I also thank my readers (I doubt if anybody would have been patient enough to read this far :)) and also appeal them to be with me as I take my “First Step” in my quest for this new found passion.